


Head Still Spinning

by lameassmadeupmaidenname



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Phone Sex, Porn with Feelings, amanda hates feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 03:32:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18229337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lameassmadeupmaidenname/pseuds/lameassmadeupmaidenname
Summary: Why not, right? Maybe it'd even be easier this way. This way she doesn't have to look at him.Not that she minds looking at him. But looking him in the eyes when he's so soft, too gentle, so goddamn nice.She can't help that she wants him, but if she avoids looking him in the eyes she might just be able to avoid the fact that she might have real, actual feelings for him.





	Head Still Spinning

 

It's been a long day – a Saturday they'd all hoped to have off – and Amanda can't wait to get home and relax.

She's getting ready to leave when Carisi walks into the squadroom. “Hey,” she says. “You forget something?”

“No, I haven't left yet,” he says. “I was just thinkin', it's Saturday night, why don't we go out for a drink?”

Amanda balks at the suggestion, thinking wistfully of her comfortable couch. “I don't know, Carisi, I'm kinda tired.”

“C'mon,” he urges. “When's the last time you went out?”

Amanda rolls her eyes, but he's right – she hasn't been out at least since Billie was born. So she agrees.

They invite Benson and Fin, too, but they decline – politely in Benson's case; Fin's exact words were _“you think I got time for that shit?”_

So Amanda and Carisi hit the bar together. Amanda buys the first round and challenges Carisi to a game of darts.

A couple hours and several rounds later, Carisi's aim is getting worse and he's still determined to hit a bullseye.

“Hey,” Amanda says. “Why don't we head out? It's getting late. I got a babysitter to send home.”

She's never been the one to leave a bar early, but motherhood changes a person, or so they say.

“One more try,” Carisi says, finishing off his beer.

Amanda watches and can't help laughing as he takes his stance in front of the dart board again. He squints, aims, and throws.

The dart lands smack in the middle of the board, and Carisi lets out a delighted whoop, throwing his arms in the air. He waves at the bartender. “Two more shots – whiskey.”

He plops down in the seat next to Amanda with the shots and slides one across the table to her.

Amanda grins as she watches him swallow the whiskey. “You're looking wobbly on your feet there, Carisi.”

“So're you. You're having fun,” he says, accusatory.

Amanda downs her whiskey. “Yeah, I am.”

Carisi holds out his hand to her. “C'mon, let's get you a cab.”

Outside, Carisi opens the taxi door for Amanda.

She starts to get in, then pauses. “Hey, Sonny,” she says. “Thanks for taking me out tonight. You were right, it's been a long time.”

“I know,” he says. “It was fun.”

Then he leans in and kisses her on the mouth. It's barely a peck, but Amanda's so startled she has to stop herself from jumping back too quickly.

“Sonny,” she says. She's trying not to laugh; she doesn't want to hurt his feelings, but she's sure he can tell.

“Ah, uh,” he says. “Wow. Sorry. I'm gonna blame that on the alcohol, and hopefully we both forget about it, huh?”

Amanda pounds him on the shoulder. “Good idea.” She grins. “You gonna make it home okay?” He's holding onto the taxi door for support and while Amanda knows she's not as sober as she thinks she is – she never is – he looks like he's in worse shape.

“I'll be fine,” he assures her. “Get in the cab, Amanda.”

“Okay,” she says, still chuckling. “I'll see you Monday, Carisi.”

Amanda gets home 20 minutes later and sends off her babysitter. It's almost midnight and she should go to bed, but she knows she won't be able to sleep.

She checks on the girls – both fast asleep, but Amanda knows Billie will wake up soon enough; she never sleeps through the night.

With that in mind Amanda starts brewing a cup of coffee. It's not her best idea, having coffee at midnight, but it always seems to stave off the worst of a hangover.

She stands in her kitchen, leaning against the counter, sipping her coffee.

What she can't stop thinking about, and is really annoying, is Carisi. He was right – she hadn't been out since Billie was born, she hadn't had that much fun, hadn't laughed til her sides hurt, hadn't done any of that for months.

There's other things she hasn't done since Billie was born. Since before Billie was born, honestly – she and Dr. Al didn't exactly have a passionate relationship.

Amanda tries not to think about Carisi and sex in the same context. It seems dangerous. Maybe she's afraid of ruining a good thing. But the thought's become more and more frequent.

Amanda looks at the clock. It's nearly one now. It's late but that doesn't mean she can't call him.

It would be stupid to call him when they're both still semi-drunk. But the point of alcohol is to make stupid decisions, isn't it?

Amanda picks up her phone and dials Carisi's number. He probably won't pick up.

It rings three times, then –

“H'lo?” Carisi's voice is slurred, either from sleep or the alcohol.

Amanda nearly hangs up, then stops herself. “Hi,” she says slowly. “Are you awake?”

“Amanda?”

“No, it's the fuckin' Pope. Ready for your confession?”

“Jesus. I passed out on the couch. You okay?"

“Yeah, I couldn't sleep. You still drunk or somethin'?”

“Head's spinnin' a little bit. It's wearin' off.”

Amanda lets the silence hang for a moment. “The thing is,” she says, “I can't stop thinking about that kiss.”

“Huh?” is the response Carisi's wonderful, Fordham-Law-educated brain sees fit to give her.

She can't help smiling. “Aren't you lucky, you forgot already. When you put me in the cab, dummy.”

“Wow,” Carisi finally says. “That really happened. Sorry. I know I said that already. And sorry for doing it and then forgetting I did it. That was stupid.”

“Uh huh,” Amanda says.

“I really didn't mean anything by it. I wasn't thinking.”

“I know you didn't.” Amanda takes her coffee mug into her bedroom and sits down on the bed, shooing Frannie away.

“Not that I mind anyway, but is there a reason you called? One stupid kiss not enough for you?”

“Uh, no, actually.” She's glad he asked. Now she doesn't have to beat around the bush.

“C'mon,” he scoffs.

“I'm being serious,” she says.

“Okay. I'm definitely awake now,” he says. “What is this, a booty call?” He sounds bemused.

“Blame it on the alcohol if you want.” She lays back on her bed.

“Drinking make you horny, huh?” His voice is uncertain. “You should've said. I could've gotten in the cab with you.”

_He wishes._

“I think we can make do,” Amanda says.

Why not, right? Maybe it'd even be easier this way. This way she doesn't have to look at him.

Not that she minds looking at him. But looking him in the eyes when he's so soft, too gentle, so goddamn _nice_.

She can't help that she _wants_ him, but if she avoids looking him in the eyes she might just be able to avoid the fact that she might have real, actual feelings for him.

“Rollins, are you really askin' me to have phone sex with you?”

She can't blame him for being skeptical. She can hardly believe herself. “You not interested?” she says. “I can go take care of this myself – ”

“No, no, no, no,” Carisi says quickly. “Believe me, I'm – I'm interested.”

“Yeah? Tell me more,” Amanda says. “You still on your couch?”

“No, I'm going to the bedroom.”

“Head still spinning?”

Carisi laughs, warm and soft.

“What're you wearing, Amanda?”

She looks down at herself. It's not the sexiest she's ever dressed. “T-shirt. Shorts.” She pauses. “That's it.”

“I like that part.”

A grin spreads across her face. “I bet. What about you?”

“I fell asleep in my suit, so – ” – a pause – “I'm just taking it off now.”

“You're getting ahead of me,” she says.

“Don't get excited,” he says. “I'm still wearin' an undershirt. And pants.”

“Okay, you should take the pants off,” Amanda says decisively.

“Underwear?”

“Boxers or briefs?”

There's a smile in Carisi's voice when he answers. “Boxer briefs.”

“You can leave them on.” She's picturing him now. He has long legs and an ass that looks great in a suit, better in jeans, and Amanda'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about how he'd look with nothing on. Her free hand finds its way under her shirt, skimming over the skin of her breasts.

Her eyes flutter shut and she sighs.

“Amanda.” Carisi's voice is low and rough. “Are you touchin' yourself? You gotta tell me if you are.”

“I gotta, huh?”

“It's kinda required for phone sex.”

“Yeah,” she says softly. “I'm touching my breasts.”

“Fuck,” he says. “Fuck, Amanda. Are your nipples hard? Tell me.”

She opens her eyes, looking up at the dark ceiling. “Slow down,” she says. It's possible he'll short-circuit if he doesn't. She thumbs her nipple and bites back a moan. “Yes,” she says, to answer his question.

“ _Amanda_ ,” he says. He keeps repeating her name. “Have you thought about this before?” He says it like the answer might kill him.

Amanda slides her hand down her belly and into her shorts. “Have I thought about _you_ while I have my hand between my legs? Yes.”

She can hear Carisi's breath get heavier. She finds her clit, circles it gently with her fingers, her own breath catching in her throat. There's a muffled noise like Carisi is fumbling with something.

“Carisi, if you're touching yourself, you're required to tell me,” she says, throwing his own words back at him teasingly.

“Yeah, I just took my shirt off. I have my hand down my pants.” His voice is shaky. “I – I wish it was yours.”

“So do I,” she murmurs. “Have _you_ thought about this before?”

“You have no idea,” Carisi groans.

“Sorry,” she says wryly. She does feel a little guilty. It's not like she didn't _know_ he had feelings for her.

“God, Amanda, what for?” he says. “Don't be sorry, just – just tell me how you want me. What you think about me doing.”

Amanda arches her back, sliding her fingers lower. She's so fucking wet, she can't imagine – “What I want,” she says quietly. She wasn't lying; she has thought about it, but it's different actually _telling_ him, admitting she wants it.

“Shouldn't be a hard question,” Carisi says. “I could tell you _exactly_ what I want to do with you.”

The way he draws out the word _exactly_ is too goddamn much. She didn't know he could talk like that and it's really not fair that now _she's_ the one who might be short-circuiting.

“I want you,” she says. She's fucking herself now, arching her hips into her hand. “I want you all over me, your hands, your mouth – ” _God, his fucking mouth_.

“My fingers inside you,” Carisi says breathlessly, all too eager to take her words and run with them. “My mouth, where do you want my mouth? On your tits?”

“Lower,” Amanda says. “I want your tongue between my thighs.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Carisi groans, somehow turning it into a five-syllable word. “I bet you taste so fuckin' good. God, I can just imagine how you'd squirm.”

Amanda manages to bite back a moan. She wants this too much and she doesn't know where it'll go now that they've opened the door – but she can't stop now.

“No, no, no,” Carisi says. “Stop tryin' to be quiet, I wanna hear you.”

Amanda moans louder, mostly because she's _so close_ , but partly just to give him what he wants. “I want your cock inside me,” she says.

“Yeah? Maybe I'll give it to you sometime.”

His voice is so _sexy_ and she's somehow never paid attention to it before, not til now, as she's hovering on the edge of orgasm. “Shit,” she hisses. She wonders if he means it. He probably does.

“I'm stroking it for you.” His voice is shaking again and she hopes he's as close as she is. “Keep fucking yourself, Amanda, and imagine it's me, okay?”

“I am,” she says. She shifts, holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder. She reaches down and rubs her clit with her free hand, and practically whimpers. “Sonny, God, I want you to make me – ”

“I'm going to, okay?” he says. “Now. Fuck. Come for me, baby.”

Amanda does, tension releasing all at once, her head thrown back on the pillow and her phone falling to the bed as she cries out. Her legs shaking, even. It's a hell of an orgasm.

She lays there in a stupor for several seconds until she hears Carisi's voice coming from the phone, now six inches away from her ear.

“Amanda pick up the _fucking_ phone I'm not done.”

He sounds a little pissed - frustrated - and okay, that's kind of hot too.

She picks up the phone. “Sonny, holy shit.”

“You sound so fucking hot, Amanda,” he says, almost a whine. “I just need to – ”

“Let me get your cock in my mouth so you can come down my throat?” she says, ruthlessly filthy. Apparently it works because the next thing she hears is choked moans and unintelligible words as he comes. She closes her eyes and imagines him in his bedroom, spilling all over his stomach.

“Holy hell,” he says when he finishes.

“Did you call me baby?” Amanda asks him.

“I take no responsibility for what I say when you've got me that fuckin' horny,” he says with a breathless laugh.

“Fair enough.”

“Amanda?”

“What?”

“Thanks for calling me.”

Amanda laughs. “You're welcome, Carisi. You show a girl a good time.”

“Great,” he says, and she can almost picture him turning pink. “That's, uh, the goal.”

Before Amanda can respond, she hears cries coming from her baby monitor. “God, it's like clockwork.”

“What is?”

“Billie. She wakes up every night, between 2:03 and 2:07.”

“That's bizarrely specific.”

“Try telling her that,” Amanda says wryly.

“You gotta go?”

“Yeah, I probably shouldn't let my child starve for the next six hours.”

“Good idea.” Carisi goes quiet for a moment. “Amanda?”

“Yeah, Carisi.”

“I'm at my sister's tomorrow, so – ”

Amanda's heart skips several beats. It's way too early to be thinking about meeting each other's families. “Okay, stop.”

“I'm just tellin' you why you won't hear from me,” he says gently. “It's my niece's birthday. I don't want you thinking I hate you.”

“I would never think that.”

“Good. I'll see you Monday, Amanda.”

“Goodnight, Carisi.”

 


End file.
